Frick, I've started writing a lot again. Not just writing stories and stuff but profiles, and snippets of poetry, and other stuff. Journals, posts, whatever, all sorts of random things that I'm not supposed to be writing. It's such a bad time for this to be happening because I know I should be studying; where's my self-control? Where's my motivation to do well? I see the writing on the wall- I need 7, 6, 6, a 6 in English if I don't want my ego to be bruised and my dreams to be shattered. And yet I'm afraid. I'm afraid that I won't get my heart's desire. I'm scared that this lack of control will get me nowhere. I'm afraid of going nowhere.

I'm afraid of not being good enough for myself. Is that too difficult for me to understand?