I'm not much of a pictures in blogs person, but well, in Jasryn style, I suppose I should do a brief reflection...

No, very brief.

In 2008,

I learned that best friends aren't forever. I learned that sometimes things could be painful and bitter and that when someone you know wants to end it all, you can only look back to the beginning and wonder what went wrong. I learned that sometimes, you have to face things alone, you can't fall back into the arms of the people that aren't there with you in person but only in spirit. I learned that sometimes, it's the people that you thought would always be there that turn around and bite you in the butt.

But I also learned that some things can, and do last. I learned that while best friends aren't forever, friendship still can be. I learned not to care about what people say, and that as long as you're glad and good and know you're right, sometimes the voices in your head don't matter. I learned of crude jokes and chats on the phone with Fungus, allowing my cruder, boyish side to show. I learned that no matter what, if you keep a smile on your face and a hand on your heart, you can stay happy.

You can be happy.

Now I'll let the pictures do all the talking. Wei Yun in 2008... Not in any order at all.























A pretty good year, all in all... (:

Things I've been doing instead of studying:

1) RP-ing in iAV
2) Finding random Harry Potter fanart
3) Writing random drabbles that sucked and so I deleted them fehhh
4) Hanging out with friends/family
5) Reading D.Gray-Man online
6) Reading this other webcomic called Honeydew Syndrome... Oh fine, I've just read like, about 5 pages of it? But I like what I see, and the main character reminds me of this character in this story I'm writing and I like the way that not everyone is a stereotype
7) The Comic Fiesta Forums
8) Talking on the phone with people
9) Blogging LIKE WHAT I'M DOING NOW

... If I pass the IB, I should be grateful.

...

Why is it that on Facebook, within an hour, when I post "I hate the IB" three people are like "I AGREE" almost immediately?

Conclusion: THE IB IS EVIL

Guess what I got for Christmas?

An orange Christmas tree.

I hear dead silence.

XDXD

wei yun says: (9:03:37 AM)
falalalala, la la la laaaa~ :D
Peter says: (9:03:56 AM)
I'm still tired from decking my halls
wei yun says: (9:04:43 AM)
oooh. you guys do that?
wei yun says: (9:04:46 AM)
i dont get to
wei yun says: (9:05:02 AM)
for us christmas is more of a family thing so we dont do a lot of preparation.
Peter says: (9:06:29 AM)
I suppose so over there... plus, if your parents let you decorate, they'd come home and be like "wtf... WEI YUN!!! Why is the house orange."
Peter says: (9:06:44 AM)
and you'd be like ":I was decorating"
Peter says: (9:06:59 AM)
"but orange is not a christmas color"
wei yun: (9:07:04 AM)
yeah. that too. you know, we saw this orange christmas tree in this japanese restaurant. :D and i was like... omfg. i want one. i want one. I WANT ONE
wei yun says: (9:07:08 AM)
mum and dad: 0_o
Peter says: (9:07:15 AM)
"but orange is an every season color!"
wei yun says: (9:07:29 AM)
and apparently, there's a shop in a mall on the other side of town that sells nothing but orange.
wei yun says: (9:07:34 AM)
and yes!! you understand me! :D
Peter says: (9:09:26 AM)
understand does not = agree on all the orange
wei yun says: (9:12:02 AM)
well its one step closer. you know, after the invasion, can malaysia's national colour be orange? like the dutch?
wei yun says: (9:12:03 AM)
:D
Peter says: (9:12:36 AM)
Why emulate the dutch?
wei yun says: (9:13:12 AM)
nooo. the dutch read my mind. see i liked orange before i was born, it just took me a while to find out in this life.
wei yun says: (9:13:25 AM)
my first favourite colour was green, then blue, now it's orange. (:
wei yun says: (9:16:07 AM)
after a journey of self-discovery, chocolate pie, and cheese, i found myself!


Poor Peter. He has to put up with my madness, even after CamTrad. ^_^

http://www.100words.com/batchReadBatchMember.php?batch=93&member=3922

Wow. Just wow. She- yes, Su and I figured that it was probably a she- sounds like me.

No, her writing sounds way better than mine.

I wish I could write such perfection in a hundred words per day, every day.

I don’t really know how, so tell me please. How do you stop being someone’s friend? Do you search out every single piece of evidence attesting to her existence and burn it, and hopefully you’ll forget about her? Do you pretend she’s invisible and pretend it’s a gust of wind when you walk by? Do I end it with a letter? Or do I just lapse into the you-are-non-existent phase of my life? Do I proclaim to the world that you don’t have a place in my heart anymore? Tell me please, how to, because I really don’t know how.

I find the word "fuck" very liberating.

XT, where artfor thou?

IDIOT

SHU LIN NOT GOING TO UPLANDS NOW

APA LA! >.<

Just for the record:

The reason I'm OBSESSED with The Best Damn Thing is because if I was a jealous girlfriend, those exact words- many of the lyrics would be coming out of my mouth. Maybe not in such a narcissistic way, but you get the drift.

Avril Lavigne, you might have turned into a bit of a weirdo, but I love you anyway, and I've still been a big fan of you even singe my primary school days.

Let me hear you say hey hey hey
Alright
Now let me hear you say hey hey ho

I hate it when a guy doesn't get the door
even though I told him yesterday and the day before
I hate it when a guy doesn't get the tab
And I have to pull my money out and that looks bad

Where are the hopes, where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see

[Chorus:]
That you're not not not gonna get any better
You won't won't won't you won't get rid of me never
Like it or not, even though she's a lot like me
We're not the same
And yeah yeah yeah I'm a lot to handle
You don't know trouble, I'm a hell of a scandal
Me, I'm a scene, I'm a drama queen
I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

Alright, alright
Yeah

I hate it when a guy doesn't understand
Why a certain time of month I don't wanna hold his hand
I hate it when they go out, and we stay in
And they come home smelling like their ex girlfriends

I found my hopes, I found my dreams
My Cinderella story scene
Now everybody's gonna see

[Chorus]

Give me an A (always give me what I want)
Give me a V (be very very good to me)
R (are you gonna treat me right)
I (I can put up a fight)
Give me an L (let me hear you scream loud)

One, two, three, four

Where are the hopes, where are the dreams
My Cinderella story scene
When do you think they'll finally see

[Chorus]

Let me hear you say hey hey hey
Alright
Now let me hear you say hey hey ho

Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey
Hey hey hey

I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen

Urrgh.

I hate people like that sometimes.

OMFG SHU LIN MIGHT BE GOING TO MY SCHOOL NOW. IT'LL BE LIKE CHRISTMAS, NEW YEAR, AND MY BIRTHDAY ROLLED INTO ONE.

WEI YUN IS HAPPY

VERY HAPPY

VERY VERY VERY HAPPY

TRA LA LA LA LA

You know that you're insecure when you feel like you can count the things you're really sure about on your fingers and toes. But then again, that would mean that all ToK students are insecure, because they can't be sure about anything.

1) I'm Wei Yun- well, a name is a name, I guess, but am I who I think I am?
2) I have friends (?)
3) I am of reasonable intelligence- no, wait, never mind.
4) My favourite colour is orange. But then again, will it be tomorrow? I'm quite certain but I CAN'T be sure
5) I have books in my room. But then again my sister claims it's OUR room.

Screw the list. I think the only thing I'm REALLY sure about is that I'm insecure.

OMFG

Oral Commentary is in, like, two days.

I'm freaking. Freaking. I don't know what I'm going to get, and that scares me more than anything. The sense of foreboding danger, or possibly foreboding peace? Teetering on the brink between success and failure, poetic justice or dramatic irony?

I'm confused. I'm scared. Panicked. Grade-obsessed. Running up and down yelling.

Finding me.

Musings after a long-missed one-hour conversation:

We do not come as a package. We are a group of friends, but not a buy one-get-nine-free-deal.

"Hate the action, not the person." Pin's philosophy. I adopted it, then threw it out the window. And I needed that reminder desperately after some things that happened yesterday.

My Iago-esque language makes me wonder whether too much English Oral Commentary has fried my brain. Am I now chicken? Or fried fish? At least I'd be brain food.

No matter what, I can't find it in myself to be a bitch, and some things in life never change. (:

UCAS status:

Two offers, two unknown.

One rejection. Not from you-know-where.

But still. Pretty disheartening.

I realize that this blog has lasted longer than I thought it would.

The pages of the calendar ripping, slipping, flying from their frame, tossed away by the breath of procrastination and torn apart by the hands of time. From the seconds spent in front of my PC to the minutes in the airport, to the hours inside the seminar room in Cambridge sitting next to Katie, Claudia, Sara, Adela while blogging about life. All whisked away by the days in Liverpool where I sat in bed alone, tired of nothing and missing company desperately, lying when I said to people that "no, I'm fine and happy". Lies, lies, all lies, like the whispers of dreams of friends long gone that call to me at night, tugging at the ends of my lips and pulling them up, shifting them down, the fairy dust that preens my eyes with peppers and leaves them stained with tears, the last shrieks of a nightmare that was howling, screaming through my world and left me speechless in the morning.

Never did I think that I could miss a place, a name, a group of people so badly, did I think that there would come a time where I would just think of a time in my past and find my insides wrenching inside out, outside in, black shadows of joy and happiness returning to haunt me as I bite my lip almost hard enough to taste blood. The wind outside my window rings through the night, and as I lift an arm to rub the aching back of my neck, I wonder: Do my friends from Cambridge hear the same things at night now that autumn is here for them? And as I think about it, I ask myself if it's scary: is anybody still as sick for the place that was their home for a month as I am now?

Jas asked me whether I was all right when I arrived at school. Apparently, it's obvious when I'm not feeling right because my mouth reveals all, whether through the words that pass through its lips or the way they curve upwards or downwards according to whether my heart has plunged into my stomach or soaring to the sky. She asked once, asked again. Then she asked with her eyes this time, that look that reads "are you okay?" that only friends can recognize. I wanted to lie. Wanted to hide what was bothering me, bludgeoning towards me like the courage of a black stone horse. But... I can't.

So I told her the truth.

"Cambridge," I said, with a dismissive little laugh. "I'm afraid that I won't be able to get in."

Reassuring gestures, friendly encouraging smile. Of course I'd be fine, she told me. And even if I didn't do as well as I hoped, I'd been accepted into King's College London, which, in its own right, is an amazing school, silver gilded with traces of gold, a necklace hung around my neck that I would get to keep even if I didn't find my pearls. I knew, I know. I agree, I fathom, I comprehend. I don't have to worry about finances, the course, or whether I can enter university in the first place, unlike millions of people that have their hopes dashed by the promise of low grades or the cynicism of bills.

What I am worried about is the dream. The dream that I once held that materialized into a reality, then vanished again into a smoke of ash as Adela and Paul walked out from Chapel Court, the reality sinking in that this was a place that I would have to leave for good. The dream that trickled away with traces of bittersweet honey as I cried to Josi, only to have to say good-bye to her as tears started to trickle down my eyes again. The dream that slowly crumbled, fell, as I departed Jesus College for the last time that day, out of the chimmney and into the park, down to the bus station as I gave the person that sent me off a friendly wave goodbye.

The dream that I know is there, that keeps me alive with the promise that I may walk those halls again. What is the first thing I will do if I arrive in Jesus? I ask myself from time to time, and I decided that I would take photos. Photos of the remnants of our former haunt, the same place without the people that made it what it was. Genni and Michela in Clowns, a message to Adela that I'm sure she'd like to be sealed in an envelope and sent from our hearts. M staircase with inhabitants instead of the staff, the Beast and its furriness nowhere to be seen. Photographs, hollow shells of the memories that were, preserved in time and space forever but devoid of experience's soul. And then, I think I'll cry. Cry for happiness at the realization of a wish, for sadness at the people that aren't there with me, for the simple reason that I'll need hot stinging tears to remind myself that this isn't just an illusion, it's real, as real as the month that went by in the summer.

But then again, all I have to hang on to is hope. Blind optimism. Faith is slowly slipping away, leaving back the tails of her long white dress.

The next page on the calendar tears.

"'POETRY', Wordsworth reminds us, 'is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings', and there can be no area of human experience that has generated a wider range of powerful feelings than war: hope and fear; exhilaration and humiliation; hatred - not only for the enemy, but also for generals, politicians, and war-profiteers; love - for fellow soldiers, for women and children left behind, for country (often) and cause (occasionally)." (p.xix)

Thank you to Sarah SC for this beautiful quote. *loves*

BTW GUYS.

THE HIGHLIGHT THING ON MY COMPUTER IS NOW ORANGE.

YES PHUMINAT THANK YOU LOL EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T READ THIS? :D

Those of you that know my cousin, Hai Wen, might know that a few days ago, I stole her pie that she was going to have for dinner. Just to spite her. Just because I thought that it was going to be funny.

Today, she got her revenge... HAH.

Communist manifesto? Pie-stealer?

I hate you (:

To Jing Min in the library today:

The thing is, there are a few people I didn't realize WERE actually reading the blog that are- and that's because I sent them invitations and they never commented, so I realized it should be okay right? Well apparently not, because now I'm all paranoid one or two of them will read the random thoughts post and get offended. It's so disjointed and so random but there are one or two things, several things that certain people might take offense to, namely one or two people like ( ) and ( ) and that kinda bugs me, I guess? Stupid as it may seem.

I mean, YOU knew who some of those things were about. So yeah. Just goes to show how blindingly obvious I am. (:

i dont know exactly. i can guess, but i dont KNOW.

The fact that you can guess... Shows the fact that the exact people involved might be able to guess. And ( ) and I are just beginning to talk normally again, and ( ) is my friend and I don't want to hurt her...

But I don't like the idea of having to hold things back. There's this thing on deviantArt called Shout it Out, on which you get to shout out everything you've been holding in on a piece of artwork and I did a while back. When I wrote that random thoughts post, I felt almost as liberated, as free, and I don't know. It's just the fact that I'm not holding things in anymore, the fact that there are things that have been ebbing at me for ages that are now out in the air... It feels good.

Very good.

No, I think I'll keep the post. If they have a problem with it ( ), ( ) and ( ) have the guts and the level of friendship with me to bring it to my face, not bitch about me behind my back. Yeah.

hhhaa. yup.

[copied and pasted from The Crew's blog]

A conversation in English class this time last week:

Mr. Walton: And the hawk's species lends it a certain majesty. It is a great animal, better so than a-
Someone: A pigeon? :D
Mr. Walton: Yes, a pigeon! But you know, pigeons in the UK can be vicious.
Wei Yun: Pigeons in Malaysia aren't. XD
Mr. Walton: Well, we should test that theory. Why don't we put Darren on the field and wait for ow long it takes for the Malaysian pigeons to attack him. He shall henceforth be known as.... Pigeon Bait.
Everyone: ROFLMAO MUAHAHAHA

Hence the beginning of a lot of jokes about Darren and his pigeon-ness, which culminated today in the giving of a poem to the class by Mr. Walton. We were told to annotate it.

Because. You know... I wrote Darren a poem to express my love for him.

His goon-like manners, his perpetual grin, and...

The fact that he is sheer pigeon bait.

Enjoy.

And mock Darren.

The Pigeons

To Darren Goon

1 Like an inverted ink-stain they raged towards me
2 Swatting their wings, pecking diamond beaks.
3 They were lions to red meat, wolves to lame sheep-
4 Prey surrounded in my sea of artificial green.

5 Lunging with spears, the pigeons charged
6 As though they were soldiers on the battlefield of chance.
7 They had seen their unsuspecting victim
8 Alone on the night-watch, and barged,

9 Suffocating me by flurry of sulphur and gas,
10 They fired their guns, raging, angry, crass;
11 Stumbling yelling very unmanly shrieking,
12 Fumbling for my gas-mask of death's escape:

13 A crumbled cookie, tossed past the horizon-

14 And they retreated; oh, if this had been the War,
15 They would be shot at dawn,
16 The firing squad's order zooming, rushing past the lawn.

17 Several moons later, beaten, broken, bruised,
18 I found myself again on that man-made turf.
19 The predators were nowhere to be found,
20 Until I heard that ungodly pecking sound-

21 On mud-dashed scrambling trodden emerald green
22 Did I see the pigeon's broken blood pour,
23 Did I see its wan wings and swollen belly
24 Crash and fall into shaken dust.

25 They will attack me no more.


Guiding questions: With reference to the 'artificial turf', what is the exact brand of cookie that the persona (henceforth referred to as Goony) threw?
Name the exact reason that Goony was attacked by pigeons. Clue: Goony-ness.

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you
I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

Through it all, I made my mistakes
I stumble and fall, but I mean these words

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Thoughts read unspoken, forever in doubt
Pieces of memories fall to the ground
I know what I didn't have so, I won't let this go
'Cause it's true, I am nothing without you

All the streets where I walked alone, with nowhere to go
I've come to an end

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you don't know what you're looking to find
In front of your eyes, it falls from the skies
When you just never know what you will find (what you will find)

I don't want this moment to ever end
Where everythings nothing without you

I want you to know
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go (I want you to know)
With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, 'as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Sum 41- With You lyrics.

Much as I don't want to admit it, I think that I'm one of the many girls that wish that this song had been written for them... And yeah. I do want to fall in love.

Some day.

"When I get drunk, I want to get drunk as in really really drunk! I want to get so drunk that I can't get any more drunk, and then I want to keep drinking some more and just drown myself in the drunkeness..."

I've been an avid reader of PostSecret for a while, but I've never sent a secret in... Mainly because I'm lazy, but I do have my little secrets that nobody knows about. You probably don't want to know some of them because they're just so random. (: And I like keeping stuff to myself once in a while.
Not big things, just the little things, you know?

Anyway I was surfing the PostSecret Community forums and stumbled upon a thread where teenagers could post their secrets. I decided to take a look and... Well... Let's just say that I realized, in so many ways, I am not alone.

Here are some secrets that people posted that would have been relevant to me in the past. No, nothing NOW, of course :P Some things deserve to be on nothing but a totally private blog... Which I may create. And open it to me and me only.

Note that I did not check any of these for grammar. Haha.

"I am scared of dying.
its scary to have to realize that the earth could disappear, humanity gone and forgotten, at any time.

i think about it, even obsess over it, everyday."

"I'm no ones best friend... and it scares me thinking about it. I'm no ones favorite person."

" I am jealous of my cousin. She has everything, I have nothing. "

"I really want to be the person that changes your life for the better"

"I don't dare tell anyone the "strange" things about me for fear they'll leave me or make fun of me for it. I wonder if anyone will not only find but accept the real me sometime."

"its really depressing not knowing who your true friend is, also its embarrassing to put your all into a friendship just to get it shoved back in ur face in mockery. "

"my biggest fear is abandonment.
I'm constantly afraid that everything that is going well for me will eventually fade, and there will be nothing left except memories that will hurt to think about."

And that's why if you haven't noticed, the blog is private. Again. (:

Maybe I DO need a private-private-private blog. HAHA.

http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/output/mosaic3690211.jpg

Stolen from Kylie. (: Some random meme.

Deliberately disorganized thoughts: YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Friendship and trust. Fragments of what you once believed in, things that you've wanted for a long time but now you've gotten what you felt like, gotten what you want.

Uncalled-for jealousy. I feel like I'm in the situation I was in a few years ago.

Word war on the Internet. People screaming at each other from different sides of a continent, picking each other to bits at this and that.

My best friend. Mine mine mine mine mine.

People think that they know the extent that I care, but they don't because there are some things that can only be written, not said.

Part of me misses having just ONE friend that I hung out with 24-7.

Liyun wants to talk on the phone again. And so do I, but I was scared that I'd be pulling her away from her exams. The fact that she says that I would help her de-stress makes me smile.

Another part of me is still bitter.

Sometimes when I think of writing about Cheryl (the character, not the person), the more I write about what she did when she picked Edward (the character, not the person), the more I realize how many parallels run through my mind, my life and my writing.

I knew her first, and I think she cares for all of us equally, but you wish she was your special friend and I don't want to feel like I'm extra baggage.

Sometimes I don't think I'm Gina anymore. Or maybe I'm still Gina- no wait I still am Gina. With pieces of Callum beginning to slip in.

I realized that nobody will know what I am talking about in this post. But I don't care.

If I ever write one of THE stories, there are about fifty people I know that could sue and would have every right to because of the borrowed anecdotes I stole from my life and theirs. Though a lot of it was unintentional- it just happened.

I annoy people, I want to ask, but I know I won't get an honest answer.

I don't want things to end.

I think that part of me writes and puts THOSE things in because I'm bitter/morbid/evil/just wanting to make the story more interesting.

She'd know if she read it. She'd know which characters I put parts of her in. It's so obvious it's a little scary.

With Me by Sum 41 is a good song.

I was happy this morning, then I got tired and started to emo.

Would people want to know, actually? Which character I based partially or totally on them?

Apparently it's obvious when I'm sad.

We're all attention-seeking. Freud would be proud.

If it had been me, would you have done the same thing?

I don't know whether it's right that I'm relieved.

I miss Sarah. A lot. Wish you had been here today.

Pigeons fly. More than people think they do.

Mr. Walton makes me smile.

When I didn't have the Internet, I missed dA. I missed iAV. I missed my e-mail. But most of all, I missed Facebook.

I don't appreciate what I have and I know it, but sometimes I feel as if I have nothing which is absolute bullshit because I don't.

After three years of laughing and sharing and caring, I don't want it to end like it did, like it did over the summer and I won't see any of them again and we barely get to talk and when I think of it it makes me want to cry sometimes but I know it's stupid and none of them feel that way so WHY DO I?

I finished a Maths test before KS on Friday. I feel extremely proud of myself, even though I did the test before. But oh well, let me be happy.

I want to have someone to cuddle. Maybe a stuffed toy.

Gina is a fun character to write about sometimes but there are times when I feel like she hits way too close to home.

I am obsessed with the random stories I come up with.

The person is fine.

I wish that I could block thoughts of a person out of my head.

And I wish that I could do some more for you, tell you how much it all means that you've bothered to hold me through my laughter and tears-








I kind of want people to ask about this post and what it's all about.

Then again, I don't think I do.

Writing out random thoughts, then jumbling them up is fun. (:

Obama won.

America is smarter than I thought. :)

"Some people say that true freedom is having nothing left to lose. They say that you can't release your inhibitions, give everything up, fling caution to the wind unless you've lost all sense of belonging, all sense of what it is to feel. Unless you've been so broken, so battered that you've lost all ability to care.

I say screw that notion. Freedom is when you've got the rest of eternity in front of you, the very strings of time dangling in your face, the tendrils of life and everything that came with it before your eyes to manipulate, to toy with at your own will. The world becomes your oyster, almost literally, and slowly, as the lights start to dim on and the walls start to fade, you find that the sky, which you always thought was the extent of freedom and expression, was never enough.

The sky is the limit? I'm sure."

Probably inspired by Sarah SC:

Let me paint you a nightmare-
Unweave the gossamer bed sheets
Unravel the bound vestiges of
Love that
Scream as they bend and break,
Let me puppet your horror-
Rip apart the shreds that hold together
Your breaking dawn.
And over it a layer of darkness shall sit,
Suffocating the wispy smiling of the
Sun;
A hollow laugh,
Stretching away the
curling of your
lips,
Pinching away the final
tendrils of your
Smile.

The LNAT today was good. Probably wrote one of the best factual essays of my life- and all that in 40 minutes. I wanted to take a copy home because I liked it so much but I wasn't allowed to, which sort of makes sense because that would entail revealing the question that I had been asked.

On another note, Check Yes Juliet is the most amazing love song of the year. It makes you go "Aww" while managing to carry off that altern-rock feeling. It sort of reminds me of a book title, maybe because the first time I heard of the song it was off somebody's artwork title? In fact I didn't even know it was a song until last night when my sister came home and made me listen to it.

I've been having a lot of fun with The Crew's blog (which now includes Priya, she joined like today I think? Ahahaha) because we keep editing each others' posts. I just made a comprehensive post about... well, sugar. And how I have all this candy in my house that I can't eat because ( ) <--- taking a leaf out of Sarah's book. HAHA. And it's not because I don't want to put on weight, which should really be a reason, but it isn't. It's something far more innocent. I'll give you a clue: It has to do with paintballs. (:

NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow, or midnight. Whichever. I can't wait ^^ Guys, make sure I write instead of laze around, ya?

http://thecrewuplands.blogspot.com/

MORE SHAMELESS PLUGGING.

COME HERE IF YOU LOVE:

Jing Min, Jasryn, Su Yin, Panit, Sarah, Sara, Darren, or the wonderful me. ;]

We are made of awesomesauce.

http://wei-rly.blogspot.com/

SHAMELESS PLUGGING. Come here if you love Cheryl. Or me.

I just signed up for NaNoWriMo.

I AM INSANE.

Jas and I were just having this conversation about each other, and whether people knew a lot about us or not. She said that she didn't know that much about me, and I agree that I don't know that much about her either.

So, I have a question: Do you guys think you know a lot about me, or not? And lastly, is there anything about me that you want to know?

Oh, well.

Throwing away everything you've been working for for the past two years isn't the end of the world!

I may be stupid, I may be clumsy. I may be the most annoying person in the world-

But today, I was reminded that there are people that care for me. <3

I'm standing on the brink, teetering between a future I'm unsure of and a past I'm not sure I want to leave behind.
Why haven't I chosen the past and just run?
I don't know.
I really don't know.
I don't know what I've been doing for the past few days. Work, bitchiness, more work and then work again. A vicious cycle, one that I'm unsure of and one that I don't understand.
Who am I, really? What have I done for this earth that defines me as a person, that makes me stand out as a human being?
I sit, I wonder, I think.
I keep sitting, thinking. My Mind draws a blank.
I am suddenly reminded of someone.
Someone that I haven't spoken to in ages, someone that I looked up to.
If I go, she'll be my senior all over again.
I sit, I ponder.
It's still blank.
Sarah's reading French words in the background.
If even she doesn't have the confidence to apply, why should I?
Why would they pick ME, a 40-point student without a credit to her name, over someone like Sarah or Priya or Jasryn or Jing min or Su?
Why would they pick me over ANYONE?
I lied when I said that I had nothing to lose.
I have too much to lose now.
A lifetime of hopes, a lifetime of dreams.
If this doesn't happen, I've got to start from square one.
And I have a sinking feeling it's not going to.
I sit, I ponder
I scream.

Dear Su Yin,

I will not repeat the mega- long essay I wrote on your Facebook wall, but,

I FREAKING LOVE YOU DARLING
STAY AWESOMETASTIC
MAYBE I MIGHT CHEAT ON SHU LIN WITH YOU
NO WAIT I ALREADY DID
BUT WHO CARES
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
I'D WRITE THIS MESSAGE IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART
BUT I SUCK AT ART
HEY THAT RHYMED! WHEEEEE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY :D

So I was having a pretty bad day today, then I went home and checked Adela's blog:

SHE GOT MY LETTER.

IT WASN'T LOST IN THE MAIL.

WHEEE!

Stolen from LiveJournal.

Post this on your blog if tagged, and answer the questions for the person that tagged you. Then, tag people who have to answer this.

01) Are you currently in a serious relationship?
02) What was your dream growing up?
03) What talent do you wish you had?
04) If I bought you a drink what would it be?
05) Favorite vegetable?
06) What was the last book you read?
07) What zodiac sign are you?
08) Any Tattoos and/or Piercings? Explain where.
09) Worst Habit?
10) If you saw me walking down the street would you offer me a ride?
11) What is your favorite sport?
12) Do you have a Pessimistic or Optimistic attitude?
13) What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?
14) Worst thing to ever happen to you?
15) Tell me one weird fact about you.
16) Do you have any pets?
17) What if I showed up at your house unexpectedly?
18) What was your first impression of me?
19) Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
20) If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
21) Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
22) What color eyes do you have?
23) Ever been arrested?
24) Bottle or can soda?
25) If you won $10,000 today, what would you do with it?
27) What's your favorite place to hang out at?
28) Do you believe in ghosts?
29) Favorite thing to do in your spare time?
30) Do you swear a lot?
31) Biggest pet peeve?
32) In one word, how would you describe yourself?
33) Do you believe/appreciate romance?
34) Favourite and least favourite food?
35) Do you believe in God(dess)?
36) Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

I tag: Hai Sherng, Kylie, Pris, Rachel. Last few people to post on my CBox, hence I tag them. Oh, and I tag Amy, XT, Gummy, Sarah, Sara, and Jas too. Just because. For good measure Cheryl also has to fill this out for our blog.

Ask me not what I am inside,
but for the mask that I wear,
thick make-up I share;
Ask me not for my inner thoughts,
but for the tapestry I weave,
the sighs that I heave.
Love me not for my hopes and my dreams,
but for the paintings I paint,
a scholar, a saint;

For I am sick of being a dumpling-
I want not for people to bite me before they
know of my meat,
For I am done with being a guzheng,
whose screeching sound emits when it is
not played, but picked,
For I am tired of a life where you
wind me like clockwork,
wrap me in chains,
bind my feet with red cloth and
burn me into ash.

wrapped up in rose-tinted sheets, she lifts her eyelids with a
sigh, gazing into the distance outside her window
and the breaking sun. daytime has arrived, sealing the doors of a
sleepless night shut, marking
the end of a horizon of restless dreams,
winding tapestries with battered seams.

is it too much to ask? no, fat skeleton stares back at her from
her mirror; she needs not have mascara under her eyes
and yet she is snow-white; shot at dawn, wondering
what and why and how
this will be if she stumbles ahead.

lk;adslfds'f

OMG I HAVE BEEN ACCEPTED.

AHH.

AHH.

*spazzes*

Today.

I swear.

That I will try to be constructive when commenting on other peoples' works.

This was spawned after I posted a comment on a piece of art.

And then I realized I liked it better when people told me WHAT they liked about my writing, not just that they liked it.

Of course praise is always good, but I like criticism/constructive praise too.

So RAWR.

From now onwards, I will try to be... constructive.

And to stop wasting time on iAnti/Facebook/deviantArt.

And to stop checking my e-mail compulsively.

Har.

We shall see how long this lasts

And you know;

It's almost enough to make me feel like re-evaluating friendship, love, and everything that falls in between.

Just because I post lyrics does not mean that I feel the same way. That being said, my current MSN screen name is very relevant to my current mental state (Haha, Xiangsi, you know what I mean). However, here's a song I want to share with you guys. If any guy sang this song to me, I would melt. Unless, of course, he didn't mean it. Then I would set him on fire and HE would melt.

Best I Ever Had- State of Shock. I love their band name. This is such a boy-band-ish song, but hey, it makes me happy.

Not for any particular reason, kay pohs.

Now I know I messed up bad
You were the best I ever had
I let you down in the worst way
It hurts me every single day
I'm dying to let you know

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend

So many things I would take back
You were the best I ever had
I don't blame you for hating me
I didn't mean to make you leave

You and I were living like a love song
I feel so bad, I feel so bad that you're gone
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

We fell in love for a reason
Now you're leaving
And I just want you back
So many things we believed in
Now you're leaving and words won't bring you back
I'll never let go of the heart I broke

You and I were living like a love song
Now I know you're the only one that I want
I want you back, I want you

Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
I could sure use a friend
Now I'm here to say I'm sorry
And ask for a second chance
All I want to do is make it up to you
Cause when it all comes down to the end
You were the best I ever had

I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were the best I ever had
I can't believe that I threw away all our dreams
I can't believe now that you're gone how much you mean to me
I feel so bad, I feel so bad
You were,
You were the best I ever had

Jianing and Li Yun are at my house.

They're SLEEPING OVER.

:D

I feel like I can die happy now.


Jianing: HEY WORLD!!!

Li Yun: Hi WeiYun, i -insert feeling here- you.. n this will be in ur dearly beloved blog for EVER & EVER!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAH

Yes I love you too. ^_^

LEAVE IT AT THIS. IT'S GONE TOO FAR.

I propose this: We end the blog war. NOW. This has all gotten a little out of hand, and I'd like to avoid fighting and confrontation if possible.

I know some of us are angry. I'm still annoyed, but talking to a certain Phisini has made me realize that I was being a bit too judgmental.

It's over, let's bury the hatchet, and sing the Barney song! :D

TAGGED

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
- WeiYun
- Ah Wei
- Ethie

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD :
- Ethereally
- Crimson Courreges
- Knife (Don't ask, don't tell)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- My hair.
- My height.
- My, err. ERRRR. EARS? XD
THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON’T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
- I hate my eyes. SMALL.
- Feet.
- Weight. I'm not fat, but I don't like the fact that I'm heavy.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
- Chinese
- Nyonya
- Malaysian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:-
- The thought of losing my friends.
- Death.
- The thought of being alone.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
- Handphone.
- Air.
- FOOD.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING NOW:
- Tank top.
- Jeans.
- Odd facial expression.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS:
- Avenged Sevenfold
- Breaking Benjamin
- Sum 41

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (RIGHT NOW):
- Breakdown: Breaking Benjamin
- Through the Fire and the Flames- Dragonforce
- The Best Damn Thing- Avril Lavigne. DON'T ASK.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
- Friendship.
- Comfort.
- Love.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE PREFERRED SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
- Hotness.
- HOTNESS.
- HAWTNESS.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
- Writing.
- Eating.
- RP-ing.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
- RP?
- Phone someone.
- Meet PRISSY.

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING/YOU’VE CONSIDERED:
- Lawyer
- Human Rights Officer for the UN
- WRITER :D

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
- CALIFORNIA
- VANCOUVER
- MELBOURNE

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
- Fall in love.
- Get published.
- GO TO CAMBRIDGE. Even as a tourist.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/GUY:
- I cry. A lot.
- I laugh and giggle.
- I like fluffy romance, when it's well-written.

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE NOT STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL/GUY:
- I talk REALLY fast. And sometimes loudly.
- I can stand the sight of bugs and creepy crawlies. In fact, when people freak, I'm LAUGHING. XD
- I have a crude sense of humour.

FIVE PEOPLE THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW:
- Jing Min
- XIAO TIAN
- Adela
- Jasryn
- Sarah SC

ethereally|| constanel says: (9:15:53 PM)
urrgh
ethereally|| constanel says: (9:15:56 PM)
i hate being a girl
ethereally|| constanel says: (9:16:00 PM)
but not enough to want to be a guy
ethereally|| constanel says: (9:16:02 PM)
XD
alex - Respect Mah Shine Bitch! says: (9:16:30 PM)
being a guy rox
alex - Respect Mah Shine Bitch! says: (9:16:35 PM)
u get every perk
alex - Respect Mah Shine Bitch! says: (9:16:41 PM)
bcos this world is a mans world after all

You don't know what you're doing to me, do you?

DO YOU?

No, you don't... Not at all.

And even if you did.

Would

You

Care

It's true, it's happened, it's exploded.

And all I want to do is pull a Morrigan: cutting off his balls, stabbing him in the stomach with a keris, pulling out his guts, throwing his guts to the dogs in front of his eyes, then pouring kerosene on him and SETTING HIM ON FIRE.

Self-control is KNOWING you can, but DECIDING you won't.

I decide I can...

But know I won't.

Sorry everyone. I've let you all down again, haven't I?

This is a very special birthday post to a very special birthday girl.

Donkey, my long-time friend and partner-in-crime, turned EIGHTEEN yesterday. Yes, big numbers, people, EIGHTEEN. She has officially graduated from being a little kid to being a big scary adult... Which also means that if the two of us ever go to a bar together, I'd get screwed over by the police and she wouldn't. Not that I plan to go drinking illegally, of course, but still.

It seems just yesterday, though, that we were mere children, acting in The Green Angels with Eujo and Uncle Kasi. I can't believe that we've gone from hating each others' guts to becoming relatively good friends, then becoming even closer when you transferred into my school. Ten years ago, if anyone had asked me what you were to me, I would have said, "My Worst Enemy." Today, the answer would be, "One of my best friends." One of the few people that I really trust no matter what, one of the few people that I know will be there to catch me whenever I fall.

You've had to deal with years of my mood swings, my childish tantrums, and my hypersensitivity. It amazes me how much tolerance you have; if I were you, I would have run, fleeing from the crazy WeiYun person like a startled fawn. Yet, you deal with everything, not just me, with grace and resilence. You're easily THE strongest person I know, and that isn't an exaggeration: it would take a giant hammer and a zillion hard whacks to break you down, and even then, you wouldn't ever give up without a fight.

I'm sorry for being the little brat I was ten years ago, and sorry for being the big brat I am now. But I'm not sorry for the times. The memories. The laughs. The tears- on my part, at least.

Thank you, dearie. I love you.

Happy belated birthday.

ethereally. says: (10:50:56 PM)
its something i care about a lot la
ethereally. says: (10:51:00 PM)
i mean its like, fine
ethereally. says: (10:51:05 PM)
okay when it comes to theatre
ethereally. says: (10:51:11 PM)
i guess im just used to being good la
ethereally. says: (10:51:16 PM)
with all the writing i do in ib
ethereally. says: (10:51:20 PM)
in igcse i wasnt great
ethereally. says: (10:51:23 PM)
but not the worst!!!
Jeamme - The anomaly - The Pact - says: (10:51:32 PM)
dont worry about it
ethereally. says: (10:51:38 PM)
so i was happy that in ib there was so much more creative work
ethereally. says: (10:52:02 PM)
than just acting
ethereally. says: (10:52:07 PM)
and i forgot i was bad at drama
ethereally. says: (10:52:11 PM)
i totally forgot.
Jeamme - The anomaly - The Pact - says: (10:52:30 PM)
........
Jeamme - The anomaly - The Pact - says: (10:52:31 PM)
nevermind

To my friends:

It's that group of people that never fail to make you laugh, can always put a smile on your face, and that always have some sort of trick up their sleeves so that you giggle. It's that group of people that permanently have their shoulders free for you to cry on, that can chase away the dark clouds and make the sun shine again. The group that have the license to do the cruelest things to you without you getting offended because you know they don't mean it, and the group that leaves you safe with the knowledge that no matter what you do, you can always return to them with a hug.

When storms start brewing and you're out in the dark, they're the ones that will come to you with umbrellas to shelter you from the hail. When lightning strikes and thunder roars, they'll open up their windows for you to crawl in while the rest of the world has their blinds closed. They'll paint you rainbows in the sky, draw you magic ponies when you want to, even if the crayons are broken and the canvas is smashed.

And no matter how far you fall, they'll be there to catch you, not because they have to but just because they can.

Thanks for being awesome, girls. All of you. From the days at Learning Garden- Donkey, to the people from hell- Jianing, my soul sister, Li Yun, my random anime freak partner. Natassha, my drama buddy. To the days in tuition and tennis- Shu Lin, my crazy wife-person. To the times in my new school. XT, all the way in Australia. Prissy, all the way in... somewhere not that far but still 500 km too long. Sara, the one and only Sara. Sarah, my poet woman. Jasryn, clumsy little idiot. Amy, or should I say MUMMY. Pin, my first friend. Nappy, if she's reading this. Jayati though we haven't talked in ages. Su for being who she is. Kylie for being a Kylie, Priya for being a Priya. XX for being awesometastic and RP-ing with me. And... Donkey. Again. (:

And to the guys- you all suck. (:

Quote of the day:

"Michael Phelps takes in food and excretes gold medals." - Kai Sheng

Damn, I haven't laughed so hard since CamTrad.

Time for a little bit of narcissism and self-indulgence. (:

ethereally. says: (6:51:05 PM)
we decided
ethereally. says: (6:51:11 PM)
if we meshed all our qualities
ethereally. says: (6:51:17 PM)
wed have a superhuman to take our exams
ethereally. says: (6:51:19 PM)
jm for tok
ethereally. says: (6:51:33 PM)
you for malay and physics
ethereally. says: (6:51:39 PM)
sarah for psych and chem
ethereally. says: (6:51:44 PM)
me for history and theatre
ethereally. says: (6:51:48 PM)
sara for music
ethereally. says: (6:51:52 PM)
priya for econs
ethereally. says: (6:51:54 PM)
sarah for maths
ethereally. says: (6:52:25 PM)
and a combination between sarah, jas and me for eng
ethereally. says: (6:52:30 PM)
sarah: technical skill
ethereally. says: (6:52:33 PM)
jas: creative
ethereally. says: (6:52:40 PM)
me: superhuman ability to write a lot of crap
Su Yin says: (6:53:01 PM)
ah
Su Yin says: (6:53:05 PM)
well
Su Yin says: (6:53:08 PM)
id love that

Oh come on, Su? Is that all you can say? >< But seriously, we'd all get 45s. And we'd all be happy. And we could use Jasryn's body so that we get to do ab initio Mandarin. And it would be easy. Because I'd do the exam. ^^

EDIT: Anyway I forgot to add the following: KYLIE/SARA FOR DT. HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN. URRGH.

How the hell am I supposed to tell universities about my burning desire to study law (with the intent of becoming an author) in 300 words? HOW?

By the way. This morning, I devised an equation about P.E in our school. Any team with more than one of these players will win every game: Lachlan, Syafiq, Timmons. In mathematical terms it looks like this:

Lachlan + Syafiq + Timmons = INSTANT KILL.

I like P.E a lot more though; I seem to be enjoying it more and more very year. Particularly because our teachers this year seem to be pretty nice, instead of Ms. Williams and her screaming at me every time I did softball.

...

I got my predicted grades.

WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY.

(is it possible to be both annoyed and happy at the same time? to feel as if people are giving you false hope but then be somewhat pleased that all these people, your parents your teachers your seniors are all telling you you can do it. but you don't know whether they're just trying to inflate your ego so that you don't fall again

and because they're afraid of picking up the pieces.)

It's a sad day when you turn around to see if your friends are watching your back, but you don't know who's there to protect you anymore.

To quote Sara Loh-
MOTHER LA

i am such an attention whore

I miss Adela.

And CamTrad.

Jeamme - The Pact- Unbelievingly Me says: (3:53:59 PM)
CALM DOWNNN
ethereally. says: (3:56:20 PM)
bleh
ethereally. says: (3:56:24 PM)
im pissed
ethereally. says: (3:56:30 PM)
it DOES show that the intent is there

THIS IS GETTING TOO FUCKING MUCH.

By the way.

I don't hate you.

But your presence is making me feel insecure.

It's been making me feel insecure for a while.

I've never voiced it out.

BUT.
If you fucking do anything to me.
Or my BEST FRIEND. Or any of them, for that matter.
You're.
Fucking.
Screwed.

There's still the option that we keep ignoring each other, of course. :3

Which is preferable. Thank you.

What I found
In this town-
I'm heading for a

BREAKDOWN

Bleh

I knew I was pushing my luck-

Wheeee

So as you can tell, I'm almost impossibly, delusionally happy here. I've made some great friends, learned so many new things, and am going to watch Wall-E with Adela and Claudia tomorrow! WHEE!

I want to comment a bit more on the people I've met here, some of which I forgot to talk about and some which I want to elaborate more on. First I want to talk about ADELALALALA. She's so different from me, yet similar in so many ways. We're both Asian and Chinese, both are hyper and love reading, and both like to write. However our reading tastes are so different. Other than Harry Potter, we like few of the same books. It's so strange how we can be so similar and so different at the same time, huh?

Next up is something random about Andrew- HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND! *sing-song voice* Well not yet, but Andrew was holding hands with Rachel (this other girl in CW) so I'm going to see how this goes, and laugh at him. As I always do when my friends get into relationships.

Err. I can't remember what else I was going to say.

Oh yeah... It's about my own issue. Whoever's reading this may or may not know what I'm talking about, but I miss -something-. And -something- is away.

Thinking about -something- makes me sad.

So why do I hurt myself?

Happy mood just.... DIED.

Greetings from-

Cambridge, just because I am AWESOME like that.

I'm missing you guys, but the people here are great. I am now going to proceed to shamelessly copy Adela and write you a list of the friends I've made here:

Adela- Harry Potter fanfiction writer that writes in my room with Claudia and me. A.K.A the Female Chinese Writers' Club. Is from California.

Box Guy- First person in my group that I met. Member of the Asian Invasion. He was carrying a box on the first day he came, hence the name. I told him I hoped he lived on the top floor so he had to lug the box around.

I ended up living on the top floor. KARMA.

Andrew- New Yorker that is obsessed with the prospect of espionage. Is going to be my tennis mixed doubles player. I fear for you, Andrew.

Peter- Creative Writing classmate that has really long hair. Is an anime nut, and likes to act gay with Paul. I called him Hohenheim on the first day when he tied his hair back, because his hair is somewhat blonde. Now he's just Peter.

Matthew- Hong Kong dude. Enough said. He even likes MAHJONG. 0.o Member of the Asian Invasion.

Claudia- She's looking at me write this. HELLO CLAUDIA!!! Is also from my Creative Writing class. Member 3 of the Female Chinese Writers' Club.

Samir/Smear- Member of the Asian Invasion. (Wow, I have a lot of Asian centric clubs) We pretend he isn't Asian. Makes funny yet lame puns.

Natalie- Girl that somehow reminds me of you, Natalia =.= Is in filmmaking, and runs up to my room to gossip from time to time. Has the surname of Tong. Does not remind me of Tong.

Paul- Harry Potter lookalike that scared everyone on the Dance Night when Harry started headbanging. A.K.A Toilet Paper/Pringles Guy. (Peter wrapped him in toilet paper and we paraded him round campus. And he got in trouble for throwing a Pringle down from his balcony) Another New Yorker.

Lambert- Guy that is from Vancouver. Looks like Yu Jian. Is more awesome than Yu Jian. We complain about our sisters together.

Vivian- NEW YORKER NUMBER THREE GAH. Was originally going to be named Penny by her parents, but her last name is Coyne. xD Is probably the most sensible one of our group. Crazy poker player. And she learned how to play on, what, day two of the trip?

Zoe- Not exactly in our group, but she lives next door to me and we invade each others' rooms.

Draws awesome horses!

So yeah, that's the list of people I've been hanging with. There are others too but I'm not going to blog about them yet as I don't know them as well. I can assure you they're all prety nice.

So far.

Mmm.

Yeah, new blog.

Mm, random.

And now face having to read about my boring life.

You have been sucked in.