i don't know if we'll have as much in common when this is all over, or if we'll still be able to talk. i hope so, definitely, but we'll be going in different directions and soon may come a time when there's nothing in common any more except the past. it's inevitable that this will happen to some of your friends; it always does. but it doesn't matter, because you're amazing now. and will always continue to be amazing, even if it's in a different way. thank you guys, so much- really, you have no idea how much all of this has meant to me. even if things change and we drift apart, you'll always be dear to me because of the sense of study-solidarity, though we were never exactly emotionally close if you get my drift. the only thing about studying and exams that i'll ever miss was the sense of togetherness, even if it was us all feeling screwed! you'll always be my girls <3

three days left, three exams to go. let's do this shit.

twenty-one!

Let it be known that I have amazing friends, people who laugh with me and cry with me and light me up when I'm down.

Yesterday and today were absolutely perfect in every single way, despite the fact that I had to study for exams- amazing gift art from some of the best artists and coolest people I know, Lex coming down to see me despite the fact that she has exams too. Hanging out with a friend from uni and the boy I swear she's going to marry some day, and then I come home to a package from Kalyn that I got to open right on the dot of midnight, complete with calligraphy inks and parchment. Sleep, then dim sum with Lex and my housemate, a study session where my friend didn't know it was my birthday but gave me cake (chocolate! With chocolate icing! Knife would have been proud) and where we finished the fucking syllabus. We're going to kick this exam's ass. Then a steak dinner with cocktails and free champagne on the house because it was my birthday, and my housemate and I took the wrong bus home and had to walk back in high heels for fifteen minutes, and my feet are dying and I carried a massive laptop around all day and I'm about ready to collapse, this is probably just one giant run-on sentence but fuck everything, I feel amazing, life is amazing and the one thing that could have been icing on the cake didn't happen but it's okay, it might happen tomorrow or the day after anyway but honestly

I

Don't

Care

I'm just that happy, all tired and blissfully satisfied with everything that's going on, and it's just good days like this that make me feel like I should put everything into perspective, and focus on what's most important which is me and my happiness, and the little things that make me feel this good. Back to the grindstone tomorrow, but let me relish in the moments where I'm just happy to be me, and who and where I am.

10 days left. let's do this.

nineteen.

it's getting harder and harder every day. i just have to remind myself that the end is just around the corner.

motivation, such an aggravation!

tomorrow, another day.

you know, a lot of the time i don't think that i'm fat/ugly/whatever, but there really are days where i look at my friends and people around me and i think 'fml'. mmm. which is weird because most of the time i actually kind of like how i look, or have at least come to terms with it.

i should either stop comparing myself to other people, or do something about it.

self-acceptance is a constant struggle, but at least i'm winning, most of the time. and that's a lot more than many people can say for themselves.

i'm actually feeling pretty good about these exams.

i don't know if it's a good thing.