Stuff I wrote during History class will not be published here due to objectionable content.

Thank you.

... Delusional? Oh thank you.

Pick 8 random friends you feel comfortable around. (including yourself for number 4).
1- Su Yin
2- Sarah
3- Jas
4- Wei Yun
5- Sara
6- Jing Min
7- Priya
8- Kylie

These eight people you just picked are stuck in a house with you for a whole year. (OMG LOL) There is no leaving the house at all until the year is completely up. If you had to choose a person for every question below, write down which person it would be.
There are four rooms, who would be in each room
-room 1 - Me
-room 2 – My bags
-room 3 – Candy room
-room 4 - Everyone else except JM who gets the basement

If there was someone singing in the morning who would it most likely be?
- Jasryn

If someone was considered the dad and the mom of the house, who would it be?
-Prudy, who else?

If you wanted candy really badly and all of the 7 in the house had some, who would you take it from?
- I'm the one with the unlimited supply

If two people were caught making out in a closet who would it be?
-Jas and Sara. With Prudy ;)

If someone had to watch you brush your teeth (every) morning, who would it be?
-Su?

There were two bags of chips bought at the store, but 20 minutes later they are gone. Who ate them?
-Me

Who would hate being in the house the most ?
- Prudy, she'd get sick of me

Someone took (brand spanking new) pair of socks that were never worn, who is the thief?
- Jasryn. DUH.

Someone swept all the dirt under the rug, who was it?
- LOL Sara

If there was arguments in the house, who would be the ones arguing?
- Prudy telling the rest of us to do housework, and the rest of us running away and Sarah being the only one succeeding.

Who would be the one missing their boyfriend/girlfriend that wasn’t in the house with them?
- Kylie

You walked down stairs in the middle of the night for a glass of water. Who do you see?
- Sarah studying

Someone is dancing on the table in their Leopard Thong, who is the crazy one?
- Jasryn

A pillow fight broke through, who started it?
- Priya, but I won it.

Theres a marathon of your favorite tv show, what is it? and who would be watching it with you?
- Su, because it would be anime

Someone made a fort in the laundry room, who was the kid?
- Me? With help from Sara.

There’s a prankster in the house that put plastic on the two toilets in the house, who are the pranksters?
- ME :D

The musics too loud, who turned it up?
- Not me -angelic look- Probably Sarah SC if she isn't studying.

Theres a mouse crawling on the floor all over the house,
a)who is the first one to scream?
- Priya
b)and who is the one to jump in someones arms?
- Jas
c)Who would be the one to kill it?
- Prudy

Someones crying, who is it and what happened?
- Me, someone ate all the candy.

Who made pancakes in the morning and almost caught the house on fire?
- LOL JAS

Who gets sick of each other the fastest in the house?
- Prudy gets sick of me :D

Someones tanning on the roof who is it?
- Jas

Who is the tallest in the house?
- ME :D

Who is the shortest in the house?
- Sarah SC/Jas

Who is the loudest?
- Everyone except Sarah when she's studying

Who is the clown?
- Err, Prudy in her prudish ways?

Who is the most respectful?
- None of us, we're all awesome!

Who is the one you go to talk to the most?
- Su (?) Can't really answer the question.

Who is the one that always comes up with stupid ideas?
- Me. Who else?

Whos in bed first?
- Jas and Sara, together. ;)

If someone woke everyone up with pots and pans who would it be?
- Priya. And Sarah. "Let's ALL GO RUNNING PEOPLE"

Who is always dancing?
- Kylie?

Someone has the same sweater as you, so you get mad at them and who is it?
- I'd compliment the person on her awesome fashion sense because the sweater would be orange

You spilt ice all over the kitchen floor, who would be the one to slip on it first?
- Jas, who seems to be the answer to everything.

Things for Wei Yun to do from May 19th to September 25th:

1) Turn 18.

2) Go on a holiday with friends. Both Uplands and SOBA.

3) Finish Dreamcatcher.

4) Plan Dreamweaver and Dreambreaker.

5) Start on AHP.

6) Start on the unnamed Fire Emblem: RD fanfic.

7) Write something for Sheau Yun.

8) Thank you gifts/letters/whatever. Another song parody for Mr. Webster, poem for Mr. Walton. False Historical Investigation for Mr. Klar.

9) Meeteth with Yencheth, Racheleth, Andreweth.

Confession #18: I have a feeling, that is I have just come under the impression, that around about a few months ago, I was somebody extremely needy... I came to so get used to having somebody else take care of me that finding myself alone again... was not easy. But thats no excuse because regardless of whether I was sad or not, I have a feeling that at that point of time, I was somebody that I would not have liked. I've seen that bit of myself in other people recently and the sheer repetitiveness of it...grr... frustrating. I don't like it in them, so I ask myself why would they like it in me? I admit to my mistakes. I think its important to realize that... some of the most annoying things we find about people, are some of the most annoying things we find about ourselves. After all, what isn't a part of us doesn't bother us. So for the most part, all those things we hate about other people, are usually flaws that can be found within ourselves. The main problem is that many people, my age or otherwise, seem to lack the capacity to see their mistakes in the mistakes of others. OMG I THINK I'M HAVING A THOUGHTFUL, GROWN-UP MOMENT <--- of course that exclamation totally negated it but oh well. Your resident bimbo returns *beams*

From Jasryn's blog.

A source of inspiration?

Or realization.

Thanks, even if you don't know it.

Wake-up call.

It's amazing, what a laugh can do for your mental health.

Feeling okay. I know these emotions will probably resurface later on but... whatever. I'll live in the moment for the time being and squeeze out a smile.

Lyrics time. Yay.

Paramore- Pressure

Tell me where our time went
And if it was time well spent
Just don't let me fall asleep
Feeling empty again

Cuz I fear I might brake
And I fear I can't take it
Tonight i'll lie awake
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you

Now that I'm losing hope
And there's nothing else to show
For all the days that we spent
Carry away from home

Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
Without you

Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
But I'm sitting all alone
Feeling empty

I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
We're better off without you
I can feel the pressure
It's getting closer now
You're better off without me

Confession 3: Everything I do, is, subconsciously, a desperate cry for attention.

Confession 4: I know you're a true friend when you've seen through me... And still love me for who I am.

Confession 5: I know everyone thinks I have nothing to be depressed about. They're right. Yet so wrong. I've found the source of my random bursts of sadness.

Confession 6: I feel alone. Have felt that way since one and a half years ago- I've just been so good at hiding it, even from myself, that I never knew what it was.

Confession 7: Maybe I've gone back to blaming you for my problems.

Confession 8: I wish someone out there would.............. (fillintheblanks)

Have you ever felt so pent up with emotion that when you want to scream it all out, when you want to shout it out to the world, when it's time for you to take your place on the podium and take that stance against the world... You have nothing to say?

It's not that you lack the feeling, just the words to describe them. Just the way you want to yell out at everyone and snap at the world. It's not that there isn't any emotion behind the facade of happiness and that perpetual smile. It's not that you aren't angry, not that you don't feel like shrieking and kicking with tears in your eyes... You can't.

You just can't. You clench your fists, and you bite your lip, bite it so damn hard that you almost draw blood, and you know that its taste on your tongue can only mean that you've clammed up. Yes, you've clammed up, yes you. The person that's always worn her heart on her sleeve for daws to peck at with their blood-stained beaks, the person that laughs hard and cries even harder. The person that slowly, bit by bit, rips off pieces of wallpaper until her nails have worn down and the skin is chapped, the rawness of her fingertips displaced only by the rawness of her heart.

She's still there, she's still feeling... She just can't put it into words.

You don't know how to express what you're going through at the moment, the vortex of stress and inadecuacy and feeling as though you aren't good enough for anything, the tears that flow freely when you bite them in and refuse to come out when you need to cry. The promises you've made to yourself and broken, the friendships around you that you can visualise crumbling apart with a few harsh words and misplaced thoughts. The friendships that you sought so hard to build, that you realized you've been building based on guarding their feelings more so than your own... No, you're just too afraid to offend, aren't you? You're weak, weak, weak, weaker than anything you've ever condemned.

You're still on that podium, shaking, shivering, teeth chattering. You open your mouth to speak, but you make no sound. You want to talk about how you feel about whatever's been going on, but you can't. A few words surface into your mind- inadequacy, lonliness, stress- but they aren't enough. Nothing you say can shake off the way you've been; no amount of shaking can make you remember the words you want so desperately to find.

You hear the tap, tap, tap of your feet crashing against the wooden floorboards, and as you bury your head in the velvet curtains, you realise that you're hiding. You're hiding from the world, you're hiding from your friends, you're hiding from the big lie you've been weaving and have been struggling to keep- your loom's getting too small, that little voice in your head whispers, and you know it's right. It's telling you the truth.

Because for the first time in your life, you're surrounded by people.

And you've never felt so alone.

Help.

Thanks for caring.

Even if I don't deserve it.

Fucking PMS and Hitler.

Confession 2: Tears by ~Ethie on deviantART

Okay, yeah thanks, hint taken.

You never wanted me as a friend after you saw the real me, anyway.

Now I'm back to ground zero.

Fuck.

Fuck all of this.

FUCK!

I swore I would stop crying after January.

I swore that that would be the last time I allowed myself to pretend that I-

oh fuck I'm going to cry now. screw it.

coward.

ANIME/MANGA NERD:
[x] You watch anime.
[x] You read manga.
[x] You buy/collect anime DVDs or manga volumes.
[x]You own some other form of anime/manga merchandise.
[x] You have referred to an anime character as 'hot' before.
[x] You have cosplayed.
[x] You have done so in public.
[x] You have been to an anime/manga convention.
[x] You have created/joined a fanclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have created/joined a hateclub for an anime/manga character.
[ ] You have squealed when you found out somebody had the same name as an anime character you knew.
[ ] You enjoy drawing anime.
[x] People you know know you as the 'anime' person.
[x] You know that it is pronounced as 'mawnguh' and not 'manga' like it is spelled.
Anime/Manga Nerd Points: 10

ART NERD:
[x] You like art.
[ ] You actually consider yourself an artist.
[ ] When using art supplies, the brand of them matters to you.
[ ] You have a favorite brand.
[ ] You have asked for art supplies as a Christmas/birthday gift before.
[ ] You give people your drawings as gifts.
[ ] People actually ask for your drawings.
[ ] You are known as 'the art person' at your school.
[ ] Instead of just 'brown' or "pink', you'd be specific; it's 'sienna brown' or 'blush pink'. Or whatever.
[x] You have taken an art class outside of school.
[ ] You have considered a career as an artist.
[ ] Your school papers are always covered in doodles.
[ ] You have a favorite artist.
[x] Your drawings have been framed.
[ ] You carry a sketchbook with you everywhere you go.
Art Nerd Points: 3

MUSICAL NERD:
[ ] You play a musical instrument.
[ ] You play more than one instrument.
[ ] You actually really enjoy playing your instrument.
[ ] You've given your instrument a name.
[ ] You've participated in an extracurricular activity for your instrument.
[ ] You are known by what you play.
[x] You listen to classical music.
[ ] You are wondering whether that refers to the classical music genre or the classical music time period.
[ ] You have a favorite composer.
[ ] All of your friends are from your band/orchestra class.
[ ] You write music.
[x] You've had discussions with your friends about music; your favorite composers/instruments/musical time periods/key/etc...
[ ] You have considered a professional career with your instrument.
[ ] You are never nervous playing for other people.
Musical Nerd Points: 2

VIDEO GAME NERD:
[x] You play video games.
[ ] You own more than 4 different video game systems.
[x] You've had debates over which system is the greatest.
[ ] You play video games every day.
[x] You have played a video game for over 10 hours.
[x] You have songs from your favorite video games on your MP3 Player.
[ ] You love to talk about video games.
[ ] You memorize the dates for when a new game is being released.
[ ] People know you as the 'gamer' person.
[ ] You spend more time on video games than you do hanging out with friends.
[x] Your gaming system is in your room.
[x] You have preferences when it comes to what company your game came from.
[ ] You've had debates over which company is the best.
[x] You keep playing a game until you beat it.
[ ] It makes you angry when you found out somebody looked up cheat codes on the internet to beat their game.
Video Game Nerd Points: 7

COMPUTER NERD:
[x] You use the computer every day.
[x] You have an account/username on some sort of social website.
[ ] You go into random internet chatrooms.
[x] You spend at least 2 hours a day on the computer.
[x] You use computer faces. :D XD XP D: ^_^ >.> and etc.
[ ] It is hard to go a day without using the computer.
[x] You spend time in online forums.
[ ] In the forum/chatroom you use, you are known there by everyone else.
[x] You have friends you have only met online.
[ ] You have/have had a girlfriend/boyfriend you have only met online.
[x] You have actually met an online friend in person. (Long story. HAHA.)
[ ] U cn ezly rd 'txttlk'.
[ ] You have said 'lol' or 'omg' in speech that is not online.
[ ] You can type really, really fast.
Computer Nerd Points: 7

I miss my friends. Not that we've fought or anything, but I miss the times we spent together I guess? Before we were all stressed or emo or angry.

Let's go back to a time around September, where everything was perfect and I couldn't have been any happier- when my biggest concern was whether I could make this sleepover or that trip to the mall, when I was still in a post-CamTrad bliss of e-mails and IMs and the Skype conversations that have been dying as of late. Now I look at my Facebook wall and I've recieved oh, hey, a message from Rachel or Sara or Adela and I keep telling myself I'll reply with something nice and meaningful but I keep forgetting and and and and and life isn't really any better, I haven't talked to XX or Amy in AGES, I want to meet Yench and Alex but I can't, I sign into MSN hoping desperately that Lamby or someone will be on but I never have the time to chat for long, I miss Shu Lin and Li Yun and most of all Jianing and... and... I don't know.

I'm losing touch with the world, I'm losing touch with myself. I'm in this pit of essays and tests and promises to myself that I can't afford not to keep, and I'm scared and nervous and worried and there's just so much going on that I have to desensitize with work. Work's becoming like a drug, it keeps me from thinking, the only thing is that I'm not addicted but I wish I was dammit, I need 38 38 38 38 38 A SIX IN CHEMISTRY 38 38 38 38 38 38 but I want more than that dammit, I want a 7 for Chem and at least 40 points is that too much to ask fuck fuck fuck.

I blame the workload. Damn you workload. Damn you grades and offers and rejections and the feeling of inadequacy.

Because reality is like hair. You can twist it, style it, curl it until it's reached that volume of perfection. You can chop it short when it suits you or leave it out to grow. You have to water it just often enough so that it doesn't get greasy, but not so much that it becomes dry. You can colour it and dye it back but you have to expect people to notice the sudden change.

But if you pull too hard at it, it will break.



Well, what did you know? I got my hair cut today. You probably won't notice much of a change, and my hair's all wet in the photo because I'm going to study while waiting for it to dry, but if you look closely... For the first time in my life, my hair isn't centre-parted. I have a side-swept fringe, something I'd told myself I'd get a while back but I was worried I'd look dumb in.... I think I look the same. Haha.


A better look for those of you that didn't notice the change in the earlier photo- but then again, I'm sure you won't be interested in the workings of the currently-wet-hair of a not-so-pretty IB student.

Yes, I am unleashing my inner bimbo. Just like Jasryn. You proud of me, Sifu?

I think I'll go talk about breaking nails now.

Jasryn's personal message: How much is that self-esteem in the window?

єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:56:00 PM)
we've run out of self-esteem.
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:56:09 PM)
mine was stolen by something called inadequacy
Jas says: (10:56:11 PM)
have a party hat instead
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:56:56 PM)
but honestly. if you manage to find some stock
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:57:01 PM)
spare some for me
Jas says: (10:57:31 PM)
hahaha why? feeling in short supply?
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:57:48 PM)
the supply fluctuates
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:57:59 PM)
i'd rather keep a constant amount
Jas says: (10:58:11 PM)
hahaha
Jas says: (10:58:15 PM)
how much do you have right now?
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:58:15 PM)
inadequacy robs us from time to time
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:58:32 PM)
i managed to stock up on some this morning
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:58:47 PM)
though it was almost gone last night
Jas says: (10:58:55 PM)
what happened?
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:58:55 PM)
business is good, we sell out very easily
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:59:15 PM)
stress was a customer last night
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:59:45 PM)
but then again i heard he's been robbing other ib-ers too
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (10:59:52 PM)
so i'm not a selective store
Jas says: (11:00:37 PM)
hahaha
Jas says: (11:00:42 PM)
not a specialist no
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:01:17 PM)
and to think that i felt honoured
Jas says: (11:01:40 PM)
there there
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:01:45 PM)
our store tends to sell it in bulk only
Jas says: (11:01:46 PM)
ok i'm watching my streamed videos
Jas says: (11:01:53 PM)
so may be slow on the replies
Jas says: (11:01:54 PM)
hahahahaha
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:01:55 PM)
haha okay
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:01:57 PM)
where from?
Jas says: (11:02:00 PM)
mine was never that high in stock
Jas says: (11:02:05 PM)
watchthetudors
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:02:09 PM)
what IS that? LOL
єтнєяєαℓℓγ;; cαρσ ᗪì cαρì яєì says: (11:02:46 PM)
mine can be high but goes down very easily. as i said business has been good these days. things like inadequacy and inferiority complexes need to be fueled especially with the recession

I made a girl cry yesterday.

She's 11. Or 12. I don't know; but that doesn't matter to me- the point is, I made her cry.

I've never done that before. Made someone cry, I mean. Not that I can recall. Not that she didn't deserve it, but...

I guess I can't be nice and soft and a yes-person forever, as May Li says.

Truth you never knew:

I'm more competitive, more cynical, more bitter than I'll EVER let on... People don't know because a lot of what their perceptions of me are based on the fact that I seem happy. Obnoxiously happy. Am I? You may ask. The truth is... I am.

Most of the time.

Only most.

I tear my heart open, just to feel.

Confession 1: Moments by ~Ethie on deviantART

I'm censoring this for the sake of the masses.

... I have half a mind to show that to Mum and Dad.

... That would solve the problem.

... But seriously.

I'm censoring this for the sake of the masses. I may say more later on.